"[greensboro] i love you, but you're bringing me down."

"know that she is tainted.
Burned in the Realtime."

amused by cats attacking blank spaces on the sanitarium grey walls.
sleepy from an evening at the tiger.
rob brezny, you're predictions fail me this week.
out nearly $600 from my first speeding ticket.
new meds making me ill.
show this weekend making me anxious.
$7 orange brazilian boots being uplifting.
more and more appointments with a variety of physicians.
i feel unhinged.
i feel aware.
i've never actually been good at saying 'goodbye'.
there's been an attempt to get my circadian rhythms back in order.
there's been success at optimism.

when there's never enough.

i absolutely love going out of town.
i constantly crave getting away- even if just for a few days. if i stay in one place for too long it starts to get the better of me, so i try to take advantage of every chance i get to hop in my car and spend a little time elsewhere.
i need the breaks to keep me sane.
however,
i hate the feeling i get every time i come home.
it never fails.
no matter where i go or how long i stay i always feel downcast for a couple days when i get back. i know it will go away, but in the meantime i'm in a bit of a blue funk.
dispirited.
disheartened.
disconsolate.
dismayed.

its funny. i wanted so badly to move away from savannah two years ago, and now every time i go it breaks my heart a little to leave.
i would have to say though, that the fun i had this past weekend is well worth feeling a little bummed out this week.